To see reality as it is
TrainingsSometimes we end up at a dead end, telling ourselves to the very last, “It’s fine, that’s life.” And then suddenly: “This couldn’t have happened to me!..” And suddenly you are alone.
And this is a crossroads: to admit your own responsibility and change everything, or to lose yourself in disappointment for good. Real life begins only from here. To live, to truly live, is not a given.
No loss, divorce or illness was ever accidental. Behind every crisis there is a cause; behind every victory, an algorithm. To get out of an outer dead end, you have to realize something and correct something in yourself.
The path to the root cause
A doctor who does not know the cause cannot undertake the cure.
— common sense
The Aegean · the coast of Mount Athos
01 Crisis
Lost perspective.
Loneliness.
Betrayal.
But that is not the real problem
02 Emotion
Shame
Guilt
Resentment
The gap between belief and reality is sealed with emotion. The emotion paralyzes you in hopelessness
03 Belief
“He couldn’t
have done that”
The emotion is born of a false belief. Until the belief is named, the emotion seems inevitable.
04 Root cause
Attitude
to one’s parents
A system of beliefs is passed down by inheritance. Judging your parents is signing your name to its renewal.
The path to the root cause
There is always a solution.
But you cling to resentment.
Take the risk
Mount Athos · view of the bay
Who this is not for
- Those who are not interested in the cause, and those who believe in coincidence.
- Those whose resentment toward others has passed the point of no return.
- Those who believe in justified resentment, and good people, sure they are right, who have simply been treated unfairly.
- Those who have “a great relationship with my parents, so there’s no need to go there,” and anyone who “doesn’t like digging into the past.”
- Those who expect something esoteric and mysterious, who believe in affirmations, visualization and positive thinking.
- Those who are not ready to find even a little time each day to deal with their problems through self-reflection or prayer.
What changes
Usually I come with the problem that another person is doing things wrong. For example, my daughter skips school, doesn’t study, doesn’t listen when I try to limit her phone time. And I’m stressed and shocked: I’m good and I do everything right, and it’s my daughter who behaves badly. And then in the session it suddenly turns out that my daughter is a reflection of me and of my relationship with my mother. And unexpectedly my daughter’s behavior changes too, without any lecturing from me, simply because I myself have changed a little.
Being a medic myself, I was skeptical about these psychological tricks. I went round every orthopedic specialist, had a pile of MRIs done, took any number of drugs, all to no effect. After working with Anton my view of life changed, and the back pain gradually faded away.
Anton turned my attention from the question “why me?” to the question “what for?” I brought a pen and a notebook to every conversation, trying not to miss a word. Now there is more calm in me, and more gratitude for what I have, and that gives me something to stand on inside.
Translated from Russian
Consultations
Foundation
There are laws that no human being invented.
Mount Athos · Dochiariou Monastery